Big Boy Pants (America)
by Zuliet
Summary: Your teddy bear needs big boy pants ;)


_**A/N: Sorry if this is weird in first person. It was originally in second.**_

"_Nooooo_!" Alfred bellowed; I jumped and turned towards the hall way leading to his room from the living room.

"Alfred?" I called, an unsettling feeling in my stomach. I waited, but there was no reply. "Alfred? Are you ok?" Again, there was no reply from said American. Cautiously, I stood and padded towards the hall. What was wrong with Alfred?

"_No_!" growled America once more, a loud _bang _following. Adrenaline rushed through my body, causing my legs to quickly carry me towards his room.

"Alfred?!" I called, voice echoing down the hallway. My heart pounded in my chest as I ran down the hall, heart beats mixing with my thumping footsteps on the wooden flooring. When I reached Alfred's door I heard thumping from within as well as growls of struggle. I assumed the worst, panic washing over me like a tsunami. I threw the door open, rushing into the room. "Alfred?!" I looked at the American, who had his back to me, noticing as he flinched and froze. The blonde looked at me over his shoulder,

"[_]-[_]!" he said a little too loudly, a dusting of pink coating his cheeks.

"Are you alright?! What was all the yelling about?!" I glanced around the room, but noticed nothing out of place despite all of the bumping. Alfred's blush darkened,

"U-Um, u-uh...n-nothing! I-It was nothing!" he rushed, "j-just go back downstairs. I – I'll be there in a minute!"

"Are you sure you're ok?" I questioned, tilting my head to the left. The American nodded vigorously. I cast him a look, "Ok, Alfred, whatever you say." Slowly, I backed out of the room, closing the door once more. I stared at the door for a moment, "well – that was weird." Starting to walk away, the thumping came again, this time with curses on its tail.

"Damn it! What the hell! Come on! I don't have time for this!" growled Alfred's voice. I walked to Alfred's door and put my ear to it. There was some more thumping from behind the door, "gah! Come _o-on_! [_]'s waiting for me!" I giggled,

"What is he going on about?" I muttered, and, out of curiosity, opened the door to Alfred's room once more. This time it opened quietly, and I found an irritated Alfred behind the door fiddling with his pants. Alfred groaned,

"She won't love me if I'm _faaaaa-aaaaattt_!" he tugged once more at the waist band, trying to get the two sides to come together.

"I don't think you're going to be able to zip those pants, darlin'," I chuckled, noticing the four inch gap between the sides was refusing to shrink. Alfred jumped, and blushed as his eyes landed on me. I simply leaned against the door frame, arms crossed over my chest. "Nice boxers, Captain America." This caused Alfred's face to burn darker,

"I think I shrunk my pants," he groaned, to which I put a hand over my mouth to hide the grin spreading across it.  
"Alfred...I, um, I don't think it's the pants," I said, biting back my laughter. The American looked at me cluelessly,

"What do you mean?" I turned my head to the side, shooting my eyes from the wall to him and back then removed my hand. Finally, I couldn't take it and I started chuckling, which turned into laughter. It was a minute before I could say anything, as my howling laughter continued until my eyes watered and my stomach hurt.

"I – I'm saying you d–didn't shrink your _pa-an-ants_!" I laughed, now clutching my stomach. I drew in a ragged breath, but returned to my laughter as the blonde proceeded to ask for the alternative option. It was another minute before I could speak, as I wiped my eyes and coughed, I walked over to my boyfriend. I drew in a few calming breathes as I stood before him. After another cough, I placed my hands on his stomach, which proved to be squishier than I previously remember it being. "I'm saying...you need to buy bigger pants." It took a moment, but then Alfred's eyes widened and he looked down at his stomach.

"Are you saying I'm fat?!" he panicked, to which I shook my head.

"I'm saying you've gained weight, I never said you were fat. It's cute on you!" I chuckled, smiling sincerely up at him. Alfred groaned once more,

"I can't imagine why though!" I pursed my lips, casting him a 'are you fucking serious' look.

"I'm pretty sure all of that fast food you eat isn't helping; neither is this, or this or this..." I stated, pointing to each of the foods stated on his shirt; hamburgers, ice cream, coke, cake, pizza...

"But...I like that stuff!"

"That doesn't make it good for you," I noted, delivering a poke into his fleshy stomach. He crossed his arms over his mid-section self-consciously,

"Don't do that!" insisted the blonde, then cast his eyes to the full length mirrors that hung on the doors of his wardrobe. "I understand if you want to break up with me." I stared at him, his words not really processing.

"What?"

"You can break up with me if you want to. I get it if you don't want to date a fat guy." I rolled my eyes, scoffing at him.

"You're a special brand of stupid, aren't you Alfred Jones?" I groaned, propping my hands on my hips. Said Jones blinked at me a few times,

"What?" I let out a long, loud exasperated sigh then set my (E/C) irises sternly on him.

"Why the hell would I leave you for gaining weight?" I spat, tapping my foot. "You're still the same dude! Would _you_ _leave_ _me_ if _I _gained weight, Alfred?" His eyes widened,

"What?! No! Why the hell would I do that?!" I narrowed my eyes at him, causing his face to redden. "Oh – I...uh I see your point...[_]."

"Mmmm, hmmm." Finally, my glare softened and I offered him a smile as I wrapped my arms around Alfred's middle. "You're still cute, more so now – my little teddy bear." Alfred's face turned into a tomato,

"Don't _call _me that!" he whined, I smirked.

"But you're fluffy and cute, just like a teddy bear!" Alfred sighed,

"Whatever you say – Wonder Woman." My face fell, I _hated _when he called me that.

"Don't call me that." To this, Alfred smirked,

"But you're wonderful, powerful, and a woman! – not to mention incredibly sexy." A sly smile grew on the American's face as his eye lids drooped, arms encircling me. It was my turned to blush,

"I guess buying your big boy pants will have to wait until later," I teased, my senses returning as well as my smirk. Alfred let out a hearty chuckle and then captured my lips with his.


End file.
